Man, I am digging up these spastic and repellant stories from some place weird.  Maybe it's the mudflats of Asylum Lake, next to the rotted and rusted out shell of a '73 Dodge Dart that used to be red with a white vinyl 1/2 top and white seats, and a 340 under the hood.  I think a snapping turtle that was shoved into the muck with a canoe paddle by some brainless 9th grade retard on skip day (who probably got busted by his dad and defended by his mom), took up residence there in that car, waiting for some kid named Dan to come down and see it it was true that a couple hoodlums drove it into the lake.  But I digress...

Anyway, if these stories were all from just one person (or 3 or 4) than Jeebus, what a (bunch of) drunken reprobate(s)! (Even if most of this stuff is 15-20 years old).  Nimrods, WT, frat boys and Big 10 college students is what this sounds like.  Or drunks.  (Naw, not that.  They gotta be responsible adults by this point (unless I am not looking into the mysterious past, or cartoon land, but into someones dark and twisted FUTURE instead)).