I have worn glasses since I was two. Really awful glasses.  Coke bottle thick ones. {At least I never wore circular glasses to complete the effect, like Buzzkill did.}  In 1989, I lounged on Daytona Beach with 8Barrel and Easy E and planted my glasses in the sand and lit smokes with them. As a kid, I tried to set ants on fire with them  but had them pointed the wrong way.

Begining with the end of high school, I pestered my opthamologist (whose actual name was Dr. Beers) about getting contacts and he said no.  I blamed my glasses for my utter lack of scoring.  I was even so convinced that my glasses were holding me back that I launched a drunken rant about how people treat me different because of the glasses at E. I was somewhat full of shit at the time. That never stopped me before.  Or since.

Anyway, a couple of years ago, technology caught up with crappy ass eyesight, and I got contacts.  Cool Beans.  Then age caught up with my ass, and I found myself squinting.  My new OD, Dr. Spicolli said, "Dude, I'm so wasted."  Or maybe he said, "you're old!"  Anyway, now I need readers to read contracts and the other crap I ignore to write in this blog.  The more things change....